Who’s the Daddy? How Parenthood Changes the Gamer

As we get older, the real world has a defining impact on our gaming vocation.  In the same way floating Medusa heads or jumping robotic fish got in the way of our childhood avatars, a job, home and other commitments can conspire to hold us back from spending the time we would like in our adult lives servicing our joystick addiction.  The days of a 7th playthrough of our favorite RPG, or choosing full season mode in a sports sim are diminishing.  Aren’t they?  (Although Adam apparently still finds the time for the former!)  Adulthood also seems to lessen the amount of time spent just hanging out randomly at friends’ houses, and instead we increasingly meet up virtually on some remote server.  Split screen, rest in peace.  Do kids today ever hang out together anymore and play games?

But I digress.  There can be no event more disruptive to a gamer then, than the arrival of a real extra life.  Like Scott will be soon enough, I became a father last August.  Naturally I was thrilled and excited at the prospect, and those nine months really dragged on.  But at the same time in the back of my mind I knew my obsessive gaming days would never be the same again.  I was right, but not in the way you might think.

I aired my anxiety on an internet forum.  “Everyone tells me that I might as well sell my ps3, because there’ll be no time to myself after the wee one comes along,” I posted.  The response was varied, but sympathetic.  I was advised to play when they sleep, and put the controller down when the baby cries.  Simple but effective battle plan.

My partner is also a gamer.  She is addicted to Warhawk actually.  During her long and rather painful labor she was given morphine which produced our baby’s first gaming experience. She had just finished a contraction and she looked over at me and solemnly said
“I’ve just shot down a warhawk.”  The midwife was polite enough to pretend she didn’t hear.  There was a moment of silence, then she added, “with a rocket launcher… hand held.”  The midwife raised an eyebrow at me, but I don’t think she heard my partner muttering, “base 8, Island Outpost…”

Our baby was born finally, healthy and just fantastic in every way.  We named her Artemis (Temi), after the Greek goddess, not the character in the PSN title Dark Mist.

Now the first couple of weeks of a baby’s life are crazy.  A friend likened it to Vietnam, in that you feel like you’re on drugs in a war zone.  Trust me, Modern Warfare 2 will be the last thing on your mind, and you’ll be too tired to put your eyes through Burnout, Bayonetta or any other game that doesn’t allow blinking.  I got quite a few rainbows at PixelJunk Monsters during that time though.  Nice diversionary simplicity.

After that first crazy period died down and we all realized that routine was key, suddenly I started to game a lot more.  I mean a lot more.  Babies don’t sleep through the night usually, and we worked out a shift system where I would do the night feeds, and my partner would do the early mornings.  This meant that after they would both go to bed at about 9, I’d put the ps3 on.  Heck I was too tired to read or anything like that so I ended up getting more concentrated gaming time for longer stretches than I had for years!  I’ve always been the sort of gamer who has a lot of games on the go at once, and only a few would get finished.  Suddenly I was beating games, and quickly.  Uncharted, Half Life 2 and Dead Space were rattled through, and Burnout Paradise was platinumed.  I actually smiled when Scott brought up Dead Space on the podcast, because when you’re playing it with headphones in the dark so as not to wake the baby that shit is unbelievably scary!  Half Minute Hero is also especially good for new parents, but since that still isn’t released in Europe, I’m only going by the addictive demo.

What is harder to play with a small child sleeping is any online game which requires teamwork and concentration.  These games you can’t usually pause, and there was a couple of times when I’ve had to abandon my Borderlands brethren to a mauling because I’ve had to drop the controller and see to the baby.  Luckily I have some great online buddies who understand why I might just stop shooting and stand still when a Badass Bruiser is shoving a rocket up my arse.   I wouldn’t attempt game like MAG or Halo though, where players are likely to get outraged that you let the side down.  My partner still logs onto Warhawk every time Temi goes for a nap.  She obviously has more balls than me when it comes to online gaming (not literally, of course).  I think she takes pleasure in knowing that a breastfeeding mother is pwning uptight teenage boys.

Now that Artemis is over 6 months old, the challenges start to change.  As she gets older I’ll probably try to refrain from playing violent games around her just for a good parental perspective.  I mean I’m not prude but games have grown up with me, they’ve always been marketed to my generation it seems.  I feel that my little girl should not be witness to some of the things I’ve seen in games.  Do we give kids enough credit for their ability to distinguish between fantasy and reality?  All that is still to come however, an undiscovered country I’ve yet to set foot on.

In the meantime my advice to Scott, Chris (Interactive Distractions), and any other prospective gaming parents out there:

• Take the night shift.  Your all-night gaming sessions are now an act of kindness, because if you do night feeds your partner will be getting rare and well deserved rest.
• Stick to single player games you can easily pause when the baby wakes.
• Make sure you’ve got some good headphones.
• Keep a ready travel bag full of babysitting essentials by the door.  If the grandparents want to show up and take the baby for a few hours, be ready!
• Enjoy the time with your baby when they’re awake.  You’ll never have felt anything like it!!

Congratulations!